On Threesomes

Threesome_Bed

There are some practical considerations before having a threesome

The ménage à trois. For many heterosexual men, it is the pinnacle of sexual experience. I had a chance to do one at age 19 but like many young men fumbled on the follow through because I was a “nice guy,” so I had to wait until I was in my 30s and had stopped being a “nice guy” who got used by women to experience one. Once the nice guy died and the asshole in me came out, I’ve had numerous threesomes.

Of course the ménage, usually known as a threesome or three-way, is a form of group sex between a man and two women. (Variations exist but I’m never inviting another man into my bedroom, so that discussion is dead on arrival). Since most men already understand the basic plot of a threesome, my intent with this article is to offer some advice to would-be ménage participants as a man who has had 7 different threesomes with 14 different women in the past few years. I’m by no means an expert, but I have learned a few important things along the way.

History shows the practice has been common throughout history. Indeed, there’s the history of harems going back thousands of years as many women “gravitate” towards and orbit dominant males or those who have a lot of cash. Historical studies have also show women will do anything for an Alpha male, as studies from England have shown women’s sexual orientation is more loosely defined than men’s.

Before getting started, realize that some threesomes go hand in hand with recreational drug use to heighten the pleasure of the experience. I am by no means recommending it, but pot has enhanced my pleasure when doing two chicks at the same time. Cocaine comes with some risks – make sure you have a couple of Viagra on hand. Even Robin Williams comically knew the risks that come with the coca:

Cocaine – paranoid and impotent, what fun. There was no bit of me thinking, ooh, let’s go back to that. Useless conversations until midnight, waking up at dawn feeling like a vampire on a day pass. No.

So, miscellanea and some humor aside, let’s get down to brass tacks. Here are some important considerations to make when enjoying two chicks at the same time.

Two_Asian_Girls

What’s your fantasy? A lot of men’s fantasies look like this

Considerations

1. Pick a spot where you’ll be left alone. This is logistically very important, especially if either of the three of you need to keep this incident on the DL. A hotel is probably the best choice, but you can have the ménage in your own bedroom if there’s no risk of someone barging in on you or of interruptions from your roommate, etc. Turn off cell phones, put on some nice, sexy music, dim the lights, have some red wine and other assorted edibles (chocolate, strawberries, etc.) available. Pick a spot where you won’t be rushed and have at least several hours, if not all night to let the adventures unfold.

2. Decide which chick you want to get off with. The reason I recommend deciding this before getting started is it alleviates some of the confusion once the activities get started. I will even ask the girls I am having the ménage with: Which one of you is going to start me and which one of you are going to finish me? And by that, of course, I mean who is going to be giving me the first and last intercourse while the other participant sits on my face and wriggles and brings me all sorts of other sensual delights. There is nothing quite like the scent of two women on your nose and mustache after all is said and done…but I digress.

3. Tell the women where you want each of them to be. Once the discussion about who’s doing what has completed, tell them where each one of them goes. Example: Nicole, I want you here and Yolanda I want you here. I find women are often a little confused and reticent when the show begins, especially if they have either never had a threesome or have them infrequently. Instructing them helps clear up the confusion and helps ensure that you’ll all come out happy. Does one girl like oral sex more than the other? That’s the one you can have sitting on your face. Does one girl hump better than the other? (Inevitably, one girl will move better and have better rhythm than the other.) Put her in the humping position. It’s really your choice in this buffet of debauchery.

4. Optimally, all should be participating at the same time. While one girl kissing you or licking your nipples while the other one either gives you oral or intercourse is nice, the best threesomes I’ve had happen when both girls are engaged at the same time. Things can get wild at this point, and two normally straight-laced women can get very nasty if everyone’s mojo starts to flow. Two straight women can start licking each other and kissing each other while they both do things to you. It’s really amazing if everyone lets go of their inhibitions.

5. Swap out. Swap out as many times as you like. Different positions, different techniques, 69 a girl while the other helps you, there are so many possibilities. Use your imagination. Once you feel you are getting ready to explode, timing is important so it’s time to swap positions and put Yolanda (the one who will finish you) in the intercourse position and Nicole, for example, in the oral position. Afterwards, it’s fun to have some pillow talk with one chick on each side of you and discuss what was good and what could be even better next time.

Bikini_Ebony

My best and wildest threesomes have been with two black women

Wrapping Up

Are these two women you will need to use protection with? Or do you trust them enough just to use the withdrawal method? Or would you like to finish in the girls’ mouths? These are important things to consider, as well.

I do not recommend having a threesome with a girlfriend you want to keep around, unless she is the type who just likes to have a lot of sex. Most of the time, having a threesome with your girlfriend and another participant will lead to problems as once she sees you inside another girl, things change. All my threesomes have been with women I “catch and release” – in other words women I have no short-term or long-term romantic entanglements with. We are all just in it for fun. This technique eliminates so many potential problems that can arise when a man is in a relationship.

This guide focuses on practicalities, not techniques when having a threesome. It’s the groundwork for a more pleasurable and less stressful experience. I was totally lost the first time I had a threesome, and while it was a ton of fun, it could have been even better if someone had filled me in on some of the logistics of the operation. Hopefully, this quick and dirty guide (in addition to my quick and dirty guide on picking up girls) will help you plan a better ménage with your girls.

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