Everyone can be a star, seemingly living a lifestyle others only dream of on Facebook. Since the inception of the social media site a decade ago, it has gone from branding itself as a “professional” site to network and reconnect with colleagues to today being little more than a personal public relations agency based on pretense. The gap between the image many people present of themselves and reality has never been wider. Showing the duplicity of modern corporations, social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter take advantage of women’s need innate approval-seeking behavior to drive their bottom lines while simultaneously marketing themselves as pro-woman.
In one notable case, Dr. Kiersten Cerveny was a user who displayed the perfect Facebook image. A successful blonde doctor and married mother of three, Cerveny frequently posted glowing photos from exotic vacations in places like the Caicos, Hawaii, and of her partying in New Orleans. Despite living in a $1.2 million home and cultivating the appearance of the perfect mom, with photos of her three children covering her Facebook wall, she was found dead of a drug overdose in the doorway of an apartment last year.
The reality, it seems, was quite different. Dr. Cerveny, while on a “girl’s night out” reportedly ran off to spend the night with HBO producer Marc Henry Johnson, after getting boozed and coked up at 2:30 in the morning. Cerveny met Johnson before getting married for a second time. The couple entered an apartment together, along with their cab driver. Video later showed Johnson and the cab driver dragging her downstairs to the vestibule of the apartment where the three were spending the night. She died after being left there.
In my opinion, this case only illustrates the completely predictable nature of women in today’s sexual jungle, now that there are no social restraints on female behavior. It is a representation of the destructive combination of carousel riding “liberated” women, Alpha fux and Beta bux behavior, a feminized, degenerate Anglo culture, and the damage social media preening causes, all in one case.
Appearance is Everything
Social media has created a window into our lives, which turn people into actors and actresses who go out of their way to create the perfect image. Some interesting social media statistics bear out the stress social media creates as it pushes people to conform:
- 2 out of 3 millennial moms are jealous of what they see on social media
- 1 out of 3 users feel worse after seeing what their friends are doing
- 80 million photos a day are posted on Instagram (mostly by women)
- Young adults say they frequently lie about everything from relationships to promotions at work on social media
Obviously, a nihilistic, materialistic culture of self-comparison and competitive consumption has been worsened by the need to constantly look good online.
In another case illustrating the two-faced nature of social media, 19-year old Madison Holleran, a star athlete posted Facebook photos that paint the perfect image of a young “empowered” woman: images of her at track meets, going to parties, hanging out with friends, and of her dad cheering her on. She posted a cheerful selfie on social media of her standing in Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia hours before leaping to her death from a high-rise building. Madison’s family have kept her accounts active as a way of showing people the lives people live online and the lives they live in reality are often complete opposites.
Dr. Richard Sherry of the Society for Neuropsychoanalysis talks about the damaging psychological effects of creating fantasies and faking happiness for Facebook and other social media sites.
The dark side of this social conformity is when we deeply lose ourselves or negate what authentically and compassionately feels to be ‘us’; to the degree that we no longer recognize the experience, our voice, the memory or even the view of ourselves. When this starts to happen, feelings of guilt and distaste towards ourselves can create a cognitive trap of alienation and possibly even a sense of disconnection and paranoia.
Sherry says creating fake moments for social media can actually go so far as to give us false memories of events we participated in. By looking at things people fake online, we can see the insidiousness of approval-seeking behavior on social media. This is a partial list of things people fake on social media to look good:
- Appearance: Airbrushed photos, snapping 50 pics until the perfect one comes out, and using a slimming tool to digitally trim unwanted pounds are only few of the ways in which people alter their appearance.
- Relationships: From unofficial competitions of who posts the best photos of Valentine’s Day presents, to falsely claiming to be “in a relationship” to hide loneliness and rejection are two ways people fake acceptance.
- Clothing: Those most subservient to social media will never wear rags to post a profile photo, or wear their “fat pants” when posting.
- Perfection: As seen above with two cases of Anglo women, someone can have the appearance of having “the perfect life” online while literally being either suicidal or abusing drugs and alcohol, while apparently having an affair.
Social Media Backlash
A full 61% of users dislike sharing so many details of their lives on social media, yet they continue to upload because of the expectations of their peers and the need to keep up appearances. Other symptoms of social media fatigue: people are growing tired of stupid comments, crazy or mean-spirited friends who use posts against them, online drama, and problems caused in relationships by social media. Some more interesting statistics:
- 1 in 5 users say they post something they regret at least once a month
- 15% have posted something that has negatively impacted a friendship or relationship
- 24% say they share most things or everything online (ed: insanity!)
- Americans spend 60 hours a week consuming content
- 16 minutes of every hour is spent on social media sites
These stats and the damage social media does to our real lives offline as well as our psychologies are leading to a building backlash and a pushback against using social media to excess. Many men in the manosphere are proud of the fact they use social media either only for business or sparingly, if at all.
Seeing the narcissism it encourages and the psychological damage it inflicts on those who are most vulnerable, like approval seeking young women, makes one think of pressing the “log off” button more often, if not permanently. Men, especially should stop approval seeking behavior online if they wish to become more masculine.
Help us grow by making a purchase from our Recommended Reading and Viewing page or our Politically Incorrect Apparel and Merchandise page or buy anything from Amazon using this link. You can also Sponsor The New Modern Man for as little as $1 a month.