Tag Archives: Strip club reviews

Rel’s Strip Club List: Kittens | Seattle, WA

perfect vacations at the beach

There are plenty of black girls looking to have a good time at Kittens

Kittens | Seattle, WA
Relampago’s Rating: Star16Star16Star16Star16StarBW16

Regular readers may already know I typically avoid interaction with dull American women unless it’s at a club where they’ve already taken off all their clothes or at a brothel in Nevada. They’re really uninteresting, self-absorbed, entitled little things in every city I go to where “normal” people hang out. So, when in The Anglo-American Matrix I bypass the freakish social scene and go straight for the red (or is it pink?) meat.

I found myself in Seattle recently and the locals recommended Kittens for a trashy good time. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun there was to be had in such a SWPL city. Almost as surprised as I was that Seattle was sunny when I went and not the rainy, moldy city it’s marketed as. (After looking at climate data showing the city is quite dry several months out of the year, I knew the media had misrepresented facts again. But that’s a story for another time…)

Even though the state of Washington does not allow alcohol in strip clubs, I must say Kittens in Seattle is a place where there are some good times to be had. And, there’s a bar right next door if you want to go get your buzz on before coming in. I decided to throw back some Tennessee Honey with a sexy girl after hanging out in Kittens watching buck naked women prance around on stage for a few hours. I had enjoy watching my new friend get naked multiple times on stage, showing me her luscious little black ass.

Don’t let media stereotypes fool you, because this chick was quite intelligent and interesting to talk to, even though some men would dismiss her offhand because she had several tattoos. But I can tell you from experience black girls are always going to be more fun than white girls at strip clubs. Trust me.

In my case, using just a little charm, attractive sartorial choices, and Game I was able to have some drinks with this sexy little hood girl right after her shift, and we ended up going back to her place. She was a delight to hang out with both at the club and after hours. (By the way, I never pay for play in strip clubs, and neither should you. Just Game these girls hard and once you find one who’s interested in you, close the deal!)

I had a great time with this girl, and I think several other girls would also have been good options for a guy looking to have some fun and get to know some new party girls.

There was a decent selection of women to choose from on the night I went. There was about a 50/50 mixture of black and white girls in Kittens. A couple of the white girls seemed a little more lively than the norm in the club, but as usual the black girls were where the fun was at. One of the highlights of the evening was a bootylicious girl with a sexy accent from Kampala, a city I hope to descend on later this year. She was interesting to talk to but hustled for dances like a white chick.

Oddly, two of the strippers at this all nude club had butt plugs. I couldn’t figure that out, as when I asked them why they put them in they told me it was because the men like them. Hmm. I told her I didn’t much care for it.

The overall atmosphere in Kittens is not bad, but it certainly isn’t as lively and classy as Deja Vu in Spokane. But, the strippers are a lot more fun at Kittens than Deja Vu. When in doubt, I go for fun over class any day.

Kittens gets a recommendation since I think it would be pretty easy for an attractive, well-dressed guy to use a little PUA here to ease the pain of a lonely evening. It’s certainly a much better idea than using a dating app or trying to use day Game in the Seattle area.

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Passions: Possibly the Best Strip Club Experience in the States


Black strip clubs are always more fun than white strip clubs

Passions | New Orleans, LA
Relampago’s Rating: Star16Star16Star16Star16Star16

Let’s be honest. Most strip clubs in America suck. This is especially true for strip clubs where the majority of the dancers are white girls. Men go in, empty their pockets and get little more than some tepid dancing from girls with entitlement and pedestal complexes. Worse, the girls often talk down to the men as if they’re supposed to be carrying some sort of piss bucket for them. My recent visit to one only confirmed this.

Call it a product of Anglo culture and women who have been told from birth they’re betterer than men, men are evil, sex is evil, straight sex is really evil, etc. Bad strip clubs are just another piece of evidence pointing to a fucked up, sexually repressed, and increasingly socially engineered, androgynous society. So naturally, the girls are going to have prudish attitudes.

So, first piece of advice: Avoid white girl strip clubs since white chicks are the origin of and the purveyors a Puritanical attitude in America. It shows, trust me.

Make no mistake about it, and take it from someone who has been around the block and around the world – ethnic strip clubs are where it’s at, and they’re the best you can get for legal, sexy fun in the States. In the Southwest, Latin strip clubs are the place to go. In the South, black strip clubs are where it’s at.

The white girl clubs up north or anywhere else are really a waste of time for a guy looking for a genuinely good time. You know, going home with happy memories instead of an empty wallet and unrelieved erection.

In my travels around The Matrix, there are a few standouts as far as clubs that feature topless and nude ethnic girls dancing. So what’s the best strip club I’ve found in my travels around 40 or so States in The Matrix? Passions on the East Side of New Orleans is probably my favorite place in the States.

It’s on the “bad” part of town in a hole in the wall, and some guys may be intimidated by the clientèle and the atmosphere. But, I’ve never had a bad experience. That said, I’m a Don’t Give a Fuck kind of guy like Eminem, and I know how to carry myself, so your mileage may vary.


Get your fix of sexy chocolate at Passions

The Experience

Black strip clubs are without a doubt among the best America has to offer as far as a good time for the straight man. Latin clubs are also very good at times, but in my experience black girls go that extra mile and provide the best bang for the buck.

Here’s what to expect.

First of all, at Passions the dancers are all black girls from all around the South. If you like dark flesh, this is the place to be. You’ll have a veritable smörgåsbord of sexy ebony women in every corner of the club. Girls from all kinds of backgrounds. It’s not hard to find a stunner, and it’s not hard to find a hood chick if that’s your bag. Granted, this is America so there will be a few fatties and train wrecks but every time I have been there I have managed to hook up with a sexy girl with a stunning body.

And anyone with eyes knows just how amazing black girls’ asses can be. But, I digress…

Second, it’s all nude, all the time. The layout of the club features two large stages and stools lined up all along it. It’s not hard to get up close and personal with the merchandise as the girls walk by. It can also get very wild as the night goes on. Overall, being there is a blast and drinks are very reasonably priced. You WILL BE approached by sexy chocolate and mocha women with no clothes on.

Third, just about anything goes. A man can have a VERY good time here. There are numerous VIP areas – stalls, really – in which you and your favorite girl dancer (or girls) can go inside and enjoy some privacy.

Fourth, it’s relatively easy to “shore” (as Mark Zolo calls it) in Passions. Shoring is a term to get free sex by using the principles of Game from girls who work in the entertainment industry. Additionally, Passions girls can be fun to be with and fun to hang out with if you’re experienced with women and can avoid the gold diggers you’ll inevitably find anywhere you go. I have developed long-term friendships with some of the girls who work in Passions. When is the last time you heard that about a strip club?

Overall, I’ve never walked away unhappy from Passions, which is much more than what I can say for 90% of the other strip clubs I’ve visited in the USA. I highly recommend the black strip club experience virtually anywhere you go, but in a city already known for its nightlife like New Orleans is, the word to the wise is avoid spending all your money and blowing your load on Bourbon Street and come over to the East Side for the best strip club experience anywhere.

At least, the best one I have been able to find in my domestic travels thus far. That said, leaving the States for Latin America has been the best decision of my life thus far.

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