Category Archives: Travel

City Review: Pattaya, Thailand

Pattaya, Thailand
Relampago’s City Rating: Star16Star16Star16Star16Star16


  • Nightlife: Excellent
  • Chance to score: Excellent
  • Beer prices: About 70 baht, or $2
  • Food prices: Can’t afford NOT to eat out, from $5 for a quality meal
  • Lodging: From $15/night
  • Things to do besides chase women: Many options

Las Vegas uses the marketing slogan “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” That city should be so lucky as to be Pattaya, Thailand where there is far more to do than piss money away at casinos, shop, and eat out. “Whatever happens in Pattaya, stays in Pattaya” is a loftier ambition for the single Red Pill man.

G-Spot3

American strip clubs can’t compare to Thai Go Go clubs

Quite frankly, as someone who has been to Bourbon Street in New Orleans numerous times, that famous venue also has nothing on Walking Street in Pattaya. Bourbon Street should aspire to be the balls-out good time that Walking Street is.

Incidentally, if you’re into gambling there are casinos here. But who has time for that nonsense when this is a city crawling with hot chicks? I’m talking naked Asian women in every GoGo club, plenty of beer bars with hot chicks hanging around, and plenty of places for men to practice day game. There are even a few bars where you can meet up with and have a beer with some African chicks if dark skinned women are your bag. I won’t even detail the infamous “soapy massage parlors” some men swear by down around Soi 2.

This is sin city central. There are few things that compare to a voyage to Pattaya for the single man. A PUA will have no problems scoring with top-quality women. Thailand is often called the Land of a Million Smiles. I guess it’s hard not to smile when so many thin and feminine women are available to any almost any charming farang who takes the time to get to know them.

Other than the top-notch nightlife, there are many interesting ways to spend your day in and around Pattaya. My top five would be:

  • Getting wet at Ramanaya Water Park
  • Touring The Big Buddha at Big Buddha Mountain
  • Visiting The Temple of Truth
  • Taking a boat trip to Koh Larn
  • Visiting either Nong Nooch Tropical Gardens or Sriracha Tiger Zoo
G-Spot2

Taut Thai women make American land whales look sick by comparison

Beaches are okay on the mainland, but if you take the boat trip to Koh Larn you’ll find much better looking water and scenery.

If you’ve never had Asian food in Asia, you’re really missing out. The ersatz food that passes for “Asian” food back in the States can’t hold a candle to the culinary delights that cost $5 for a meal here, versus $30 or more at the craptastic American chains like P.F. Chang. One of the best things about Pattaya is the fact there are also many excellent Indian restaurants (Taste of India is highly recommended by Rel) and many excellent Turkish Kebab houses.

I can also recommend Thai barbecue. It’s a real treat. Most Thai barbecue places are all you can eat. The best part is your new Thai girlfriend will cook the barbecue for you (and likely feed it to you) at the table. That’s an experience that’s hard to forget for men who regularly have to slop the American hogs on dinnerviews back home.

This place would be a fatty’s dream. (Incidentally, speaking of fatties have you read my article detailing the hilarities I saw on Walking Street?)

Another must see is the Turkish Ice Cream guy on Walking Street, who has been featured on World’s Most Amazing videos because of all the tricks he performs as he serves ice cream. The Snowcap Bingsoo Korean Dessert Cafe is also a worthwhile stop.

As alluded to above, beers are dirt cheap. Chang, Singha and Tiger beers are the staples, but there are many bars that carry Heineken and a couple of other Eurocentric brands. Thankfully, there’s no Budweiser in sight. The Singapore Sling cocktail is also worth a try. Quality of ingredients in this cocktail varies from bar to bar, but The Windy Inn on Walking Street makes top notch Slings.

Hotels range in price, but I normally stay in quality guest houses that cost me around $15 a night. I’ve always had excellent service at guest houses in Pattaya with clean rooms, good air conditioning, and comfortable beds.

Scooters rent for around $10 a day, but the police like to give tourists a hard time when they’re driving around town. I personally got pulled over and had my license yanked out of my hand on the spot. What was my license yanked for? Not having some bullshit AAA International Driving Permit. What a crock. That was the one dark moment in what was otherwise a very sunny trip. I had to go pay a 400 baht bullshit fine to get my CDL back. That’s less than $15, but it seems to me the police could work out a deal with the guys renting these scooters.

At just over an hour south of Bangkok’s Suvarnabhumi Airport, a trek to this tropical paradise is a must for every TNMM reader. I would recommend a bare minimum of 2 weeks here to even begin to take in all the city has to offer. Best option would be to spend a full 30 days here, budgeting $50 a day for entertainment and food. Want personalized travel advice from Rel? It’s available through the RF Life Coaching Service.

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Scenes from Around Pattaya, Thailand

While the haters fling shit from their keyboards, I’ve been having the time of my life chasing tail, eating Thai barbecue, drinking Singapore Slings, sightseeing, swimming, and playing pool.

Here’s a sampling of my photos…with more to come soon.

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4 Interesting Situations I Saw on Walking Street in Pattaya, Thailand

Sights and sounds from a bustling Walking Street in Pattaya

Sights and sounds from a bustling Walking Street in Pattaya

Relampago on the Road
Reporting from Pattaya, Thailand


I’m on the road for the month of March, and after driving all over the United States since January as a trucker I decided it was time for some relaxation outside The Matrix. So, I booked a cheap flight to Thailand, and hooked up with an awesome $15 a night room for a month.

When one visits Thailand, a pilgrimage to Walking Street is a must. Walking Street in Pattaya is like Bourbon Street in New Orleans, only better. Consider it nightlife without the Anglo cultural and sexual repression you’ll find in the West.

After some busy days riding all up and down the East Coast of the Gulf of Thailand on a Honda scooter, I made my way down to this infamous slice of paradise for some well-deserved rest and relaxation after driving around 3,000 miles a week to build up this year’s cash reserve.

One night as I was people watching I noticed several interesting situations going on which are pertinent to the themes we discuss here at The New Modern Man and elsewhere in the manosphere. Here are four alternately interesting and hilarious situations I made mental bookmarks about as I saw them unfolding, so I could tell you about them.

4. Man Accompanied By Land Whale

This poor bastard.

I saw the look in his eyes as this dude realized he made a huge (pun intended) mistake bringing along his hog for an Asian vacation, as he saw countless tight and taut Thai chicks in skimpy clothing walking by. He looked deeply troubled as the Anglo (or European, didn’t hear which language they used) hog pulled him around by the arm, perhaps because he wanted to stop and look at different bars and peruse the sexy ladies inhabiting them.

She wanted nothing of the sort, probably only thinking about her next slice of cake.

The hog looked quite worried about having wound up on Walking Street because she knew she was way out of her league. There’s fat, and then there’s sloppy fat. This chick was sloppy fat, but her man seemed to be at least average to fit in build.

This couple illustrates everything wrong with the relations between the sexes in America (or Europe). Man, works his ass off and finances a fabulous vacation with his Beta Bucks while the land hog lords over him like a domineering tyrant, steering dollars from his wallet into her mouth while cockblocking him from upgrading to the female companionship he deserves.

The timer on that relationship no doubt started that night, as along with the pain I also saw an awakening in that man’s eyes. He now no doubt knows he got a shitty deal and can do better than the hog.

3. Older Man Being Pulled Around by Worried Wife

This one was hilarious to watch from the sidelines as I sipped Chang beer, and illustrates the fact older women intuitively know they can’t compete with younger women. It also proved the men age like wine and women age like milk theory correct once again.

This woman’s milk expired years ago. However, this decent looking older gentlemen would have had no trouble pulling some quality tail on Walking Street and his woman knew it deep down in her hamster brain. She was almost as worried as the hog.

It was as if this older couple had accidentally wandered into a parallel universe in which the constant manipulation and abuse of men Western women profit from was turned upside down, if only for the time a short walk takes.

The post-expiration date granny knew she was well over her credit line on Nature’s Credit Card and that her husband might just figured out she’s not the high level of investment and low level of return she offers.

Owning an expired Golden Vagina meant nothing, the way it once did in her prime. She was totally powerless on Walking Street. Nature, it seems has a sense of humor about male-female relations after all.

2. The Gleeful Single Middle-Aged Man

This dude was dancing it up solo at the bar we were in, and didn’t seem to give a fuck who was watching him. He was shaking hands and glad handing people as if he was a politician up for re-election. It’s as if his ex-bitch had just died or something, saving him from a round of frivorce rape.

There’s no doubt this man is getting laid on the regular, unlike the often miserable men back in the States who aren’t getting laid so often. He was the perfect illustration of the glee life as a runaway slave from the Anglobitch plantation brings.

One could feel the liberation this man knows, and there’s no doubt life inside the frigid borders of a sexless, decadent empire is no longer something he will be willing to accept.

The master pickup artist never needs to pay for premium tail, either. I regularly bang SMV 7-9 women with minimum effort. It’s amazing how far a well-dressed man with a cocky, funny attitude can go in a place that doesn’t hate men as in the West.

That night, I met other expats from Norway, Scotland, and Russia. They also seemed unwilling to return to life as a Beta male tax slave who is rewarded with scorn rather than occasional sex.

1. The Pursed Lips Anglobitch

Knowing no men were going to be interested in her that night with premium Thai tail everywhere, an Anglobitch with pursed lips was walking around giving men (including me as I sat with a dime piece) evil eyes and dirty looks. Similar to the portlier women above, her powers were also useless here as the cultural tightrope she and her sisters in the feminist claven keep men on sexually was thousands of miles of away.

She was a fish out of water. And it was delightful to watch.

I imagine her insulting the men from Europe and America who were there having a good time with the typical boilerplate angry feminists like to throw at men who have discovered a bigger, better deal than she could ever offer.

  • “Couldn’t get another woman so he had to come here.”
  • “Can’t handle a Strong, Independent Woman™.”
  • “A sexual pervert.” (For having normal male sexual desires, of course.)

As we all know, the truth is none of the above. Anglobitches don’t like runaway slaves from the Beta male plantation they’ve created. And Walking Street is brimming with runaway male slaves.

All the more reason to smile ear to ear as you look them in the eye, while pulling your exotic hottie just a little bit closer to you and giving her a big, wet kiss. Revenge is sweet. Your female master no longer has any power over you.

My adventures in the Land of a Million Smiles are worth every penny. I’ve never felt more whole as an individual or happier inside since throwing off the chains of a Puritan culture and visiting cultures that aren’t so uptight and prudish.

Won’t you join me soon outside The Matrix?

Help us grow by making a purchase from our Recommended Reading and Viewing page or our Politically Incorrect Apparel and Merchandise page or buy anything from Amazon using this link. You can also Sponsor The New Modern Man for as little as $1 a month. This The New Modern Man article originally ran on Return of Kings.

The 2017 Relampago America and World Tour

What could be better for the ZFG awakened man than a year of travel, exploration, and debauchery? Since I defected from the gutless mainstream media, I’ve decided to let it all hang out. This year, I plan on saying “Fuck the world” with a couple of different meanings behind the phrase.

Living in the Caribbean as an expat and dissident fleeing Cultural Marxism and a growing tyranny in America was only the beginning. My latest adventures have taken me to Las Vegas and Seattle as I pump and dump America participating in the economy as the equivalent of a migrant worker, saving up enough money to travel the world the second half of this year.

I’m spending the first half of 2017 driving all across America, visiting everything from brothels to strip clubs to SWPL coffee shops and city parks along the way. Already, I’ve reported first hand from the field on such eclectic topics as:

The second half of the year, my tentative schedule takes me to:

  • Thailand, Laos and Cambodia
  • Uganda
  • Colombia
  • Back to the Caribbean

That will be a total of 4 continents this year: Asia, Africa, South America, and North America. And I’m just getting warmed up. Expect to see photos from my adventures (there’s a new Relampago Furioso Flickr account created just for the occasion) and of course interesting stories.

It’s an adventure I’ve dubbed the 2017 Relampago America and World Tour. If you want to help contribute to making my journey even better, I’ve opened up a Patreon account where I hope to raise about $250 monthly to help cover expenses. I am self-financing most of the journey, and may be the only Emmy-award winning newscaster who holds a valid Class A Commercial Driver’s License (license to drive a big rig) in America. More on that angle soon.

As always, your comments and support are appreciated. It doesn’t take much for a man to live on, and a man who is free of the Anglobitch has the ability to live a world-wandering, sexually fulfilled, awesome life.

Come along for the journey right here at TNMM. Hopefully it will inspire other men to walk off the plantation.

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Rel’s Strip Club List: Kittens | Seattle, WA

perfect vacations at the beach

There are plenty of black girls looking to have a good time at Kittens

Kittens | Seattle, WA
Relampago’s Rating: Star16Star16Star16Star16StarBW16

Regular readers may already know I typically avoid interaction with dull American women unless it’s at a club where they’ve already taken off all their clothes or at a brothel in Nevada. They’re really uninteresting, self-absorbed, entitled little things in every city I go to where “normal” people hang out. So, when in The Anglo-American Matrix I bypass the freakish social scene and go straight for the red (or is it pink?) meat.

I found myself in Seattle recently and the locals recommended Kittens for a trashy good time. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun there was to be had in such a SWPL city. Almost as surprised as I was that Seattle was sunny when I went and not the rainy, moldy city it’s marketed as. (After looking at climate data showing the city is quite dry several months out of the year, I knew the media had misrepresented facts again. But that’s a story for another time…)

Even though the state of Washington does not allow alcohol in strip clubs, I must say Kittens in Seattle is a place where there are some good times to be had. And, there’s a bar right next door if you want to go get your buzz on before coming in. I decided to throw back some Tennessee Honey with a sexy girl after hanging out in Kittens watching buck naked women prance around on stage for a few hours. I had enjoy watching my new friend get naked multiple times on stage, showing me her luscious little black ass.

Don’t let media stereotypes fool you, because this chick was quite intelligent and interesting to talk to, even though some men would dismiss her offhand because she had several tattoos. But I can tell you from experience black girls are always going to be more fun than white girls at strip clubs. Trust me.

In my case, using just a little charm, attractive sartorial choices, and Game I was able to have some drinks with this sexy little hood girl right after her shift, and we ended up going back to her place. She was a delight to hang out with both at the club and after hours. (By the way, I never pay for play in strip clubs, and neither should you. Just Game these girls hard and once you find one who’s interested in you, close the deal!)

I had a great time with this girl, and I think several other girls would also have been good options for a guy looking to have some fun and get to know some new party girls.

There was a decent selection of women to choose from on the night I went. There was about a 50/50 mixture of black and white girls in Kittens. A couple of the white girls seemed a little more lively than the norm in the club, but as usual the black girls were where the fun was at. One of the highlights of the evening was a bootylicious girl with a sexy accent from Kampala, a city I hope to descend on later this year. She was interesting to talk to but hustled for dances like a white chick.

Oddly, two of the strippers at this all nude club had butt plugs. I couldn’t figure that out, as when I asked them why they put them in they told me it was because the men like them. Hmm. I told her I didn’t much care for it.

The overall atmosphere in Kittens is not bad, but it certainly isn’t as lively and classy as Deja Vu in Spokane. But, the strippers are a lot more fun at Kittens than Deja Vu. When in doubt, I go for fun over class any day.

Kittens gets a recommendation since I think it would be pretty easy for an attractive, well-dressed guy to use a little PUA here to ease the pain of a lonely evening. It’s certainly a much better idea than using a dating app or trying to use day Game in the Seattle area.

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