Rel’s Strip Club and Brothel List

SCBL.pngWelcome to my personally tested and reviewed Rel’s Strip Club and Brothel List. These are the best and worst places I’ve found in my Stateside travels to have fun when inside The Matrix.

brunette in underclothes

Strip clubs are unfortunately the only legal fun for a straight man in the USA – prostitution is illegal (except in Nevada!) unlike in much of the rest of the world

I have no patience for entitled women who demand the moon when they offer so little in return.

Since courting Anglo-American women has become so fraught with difficulty, and online dating in America is an exercise in futility except for those with infinite patience, for a quick hit of fun strip clubs are about the only legal good time a straight, single man can have in the USA.

The exception being Nevada which has legalized prostitution in about three dozen brothels. It’s hit and mostly miss when it comes to good clubs in my experience, but brothels seem more promising.

Some may ask, “Why strip clubs and/or brothels when I am in The Matrix?” Part of the Going Galt lifestyle is doing whatever the fuck I want to do whenever the fuck I want to do it without regard to what gynocentrism and Beta males say I need to be doing with my life. Partying like it’s 1999 with hot, naked women and taking them home when possible is part of the lifestyle.

Know that I’m not one to go empty my wallet and go home alone.

What makes a great strip club in the eyes of Relampago? Clubs only receive 4 and 5 star ratings if there is a good to excellent chance a well-dressed man who practices decent Game and pick-up artistry can take a stripper home with him. A good brothel/whorehouse contains plenty of hot chicks who ask for reasonable donations for their time, and is a place where women know how to treat a man.

Here’s a starter strip club and brothel review list, with more cities and clubs to be added. This guide will be filled in with reviews in early 2017. Have a personal review you’d like to post in addition the list of clubs I’ve personally reviewed? Shoot me an email!

Rel’s Ratings

Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
Avoid! The girls aren’t much fun and/or are money hungry.

Star16Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
Meh. Stay home, watch some porn, and save your money.

Star16Star16Star16StarBW16StarBW16
Good times are hit and miss.

Star16Star16Star16Star16StarBW16
This strip club/brothel is bumping!

Star16Star16Star16Star16Star16
A certified, hedonistic good time!

Brownsville/McAllen, TX


  • Jaguar’s Gold Club: Star16Star16Star16Star16StarBW16
    Plenty of sexy Latinas from Mexico and Central America who are more than willing to have a good time.
  • TexMex: Star16Star16Star16Star16StarBW16
    This club offers lots of good looking chicas of Mexican descent. Not hard to find a girl to spend some quality time with.

Miami, FL


  • Bella’s Cabaret: Star16Star16Star16Star16StarBW16
    Plenty of lovely ladies of Cuban and Caribbean descent populate Bella’s along with a few white girls. Oddly, no black girls the night I went. Pretty easy to find a goodtime gal.

Memphis, TN


  • Catwalk (Full Review): Star16Star16Star16Star16StarBW16
    This is primarily a black strip club, which is a very good thing. Girls have ranged from SMV 4 to SMV 9 on nights I’ve attended. Catwalk has never disappointed me.

New Orleans, LA


  • Passions (Full Review): Star16Star16Star16Star16Star16
    Nothing but black women, and quite possibly the very best strip club experience in the States. Not for the faint of heart.
  • Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club: Star16Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
    Mostly white girls with a few black chicks mixed in. Heavy hustling for dances and not much in return other than an empty wallet.
  • Temptations: Star16Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
    Mostly black girls with a few white chicks mixed in. More of a hustle for expensive dances than anything else. Drinks are also very pricey.

Princeton, WV


  • Southern Exposure: Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
    White girls who seem strung out on drugs seemed to be the rule when I had the misfortune of visiting this club. Among the worst I’ve visited in the States. There were some good looking girls, but their attitudes made them ugly. Looked at men as nothing but walking, talking ATM machines.

Pensacola, FL


  • Babe’s: Star16Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
    Mostly white girls inhabit this haunt that’s popular with the local military crowd. It’s a decent time, but I wouldn’t spend any more of my money here.

Reno, NV


  • Bunny Ranch (Full Review): Star16Star16Star16Star16Star16
    Bunny Ranch lives up to its reputation. For the full review, click on the link.

Richmond, VA (Full Review)


  • Daddy Rabbit’s: Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
    Dancers of several different ethnicities. It had black, white, and Latin women the night I went. However, they all had typically bad American attitudes. Avoid.
  • Paper Moon: Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
    Some good looking white girls, but nothing but a hustle for dances with typical white girl strip club hounding for money with nothing in return. Avoid.
  • Pure Pleasure: Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
    White girls dancing with a few black chicks mixed in. Another bad experience. Avoid.

Seattle, WA


  • Kittens (Full Review):  Star16Star16Star16Star16StarBW16 
    A great spot with plenty of white and black chicks. Take your pick, most are ready to play!

Spokane, WA


  • Deja Vu: Star16Star16StarBW16StarBW16StarBW16
    100% white girls the night I went. The atmosphere is good, but the dancers are only there to hustle guys out of their money. No alcohol is allowed in Washington strip clubs, either! The only saving grace is it’s all nude, otherwise I would have given it one star.

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