Swirling: Black Women and White Men
I was 21 the first time I slept with a black girl, at least five years after my first time ever with a white chick in the front seat of a sports car I had in high school. Having a sexual relationship with a black girl was something I had wanted to do for a long time, as I had always been attracted to them. But, little did I know I had touched on a life-altering experience. From then on, more than half of the women on The List of the over one hundred sexual encounters I have had would be with black women. It seems opposites really do attract.
There are definitely some positives to dating black women. Many of the women I dated and fooled around with were of equal or even higher economic status than me. This is an anomaly in an Anglo culture where the rule is men marry down, but never across or up.
Contrary to the stereotypes, many of the black women I dated were not drama queens, although there certainly is that segment of the population. They were soft-spoken, intelligent, and quite frankly much more fun to be around than the self-absorbed princesses white chicks have become. There was the daughter of an executive, a few black military women (including one would would ended up being married but liked fooling around with white men on the side) and other professionals in the group.
Many of the girls I dated were exclusively interested in white men, going against cultural narratives. There are even self help books telling women how to land a white man. Among much of the world’s population, Western men are seen as the gold standard. (Why, then are they seen as such villains in the media and at home?) Antonia Perkins, 24, told a reporter why she prefers dating white men:
White guys just treat their women so much better. There’s less games and less bullshit.
Perkins’ opinion aside, there was a military base in the town near me, and far from unusual, some nights a black doctor I was dating and I would go in the local pub to have some beer and steaks and every other couple would be white men with black women. I began to wonder why that was the case.
Why is it Becoming More Common
Why were men fleeing white women in increasing numbers I wondered. Then I remembered how frigid and frankly, uninteresting and self-absorbed white women have become. They have mainstreamed feminism, after all. There’s certainly a segment of the black population that has also been feminized, but nearly all my experience dating black women were with traditional girls. Contrary to what the media will tell you, many blacks are socially conservative and this is double the case with blacks who live abroad.
As years went on I grew increasingly tired of dealing with white chicks’ nonsense and I think many men probably feel the same way. Their expectations were astronomical and I wasn’t going to be the one to foot their bills when they give so little back in return. Black women were always more reasonable, down to earth, and willing to do their part.
Interestingly, statistics also show my experience and opinion is far from unusual. White male-black female marriages are more likely to survive beyond 10 years, and last longer than any other cohort of racial marriage statistics. According to researchers:
- Black wife/white husband marriages are 44% more likely to stay married over a 10 years period than white wife/white husband marriages
- White wife/black husband marriages have twice the divorce rate of white wife/white husband marriages
These marriage statistics jive with how I felt when I was in an interracial relationship with a black girl, even though I’m never getting married in Anglo America because of the legal system. (Put simply, there’s just way too much as risk – the court system can leave a man not only emotionally but financially devastated). The best dating experiences I have had have been with black women, far above and beyond dating experiences I have had with white women.
Maybe it’s culture. Maybe it’s just hypergamy. Maybe opposites really do attract. Maybe it’s a combination of factors. Who knows. But who can blame a man for seeking happiness, especially when he loves the physical features and sexy bodies many black women (especially those abroad) have to offer. When it comes to butts and busts and hip to waist ratios, the times my mouth hits the floor it’s usually looking at a black girl’s incredible body.
Personally, I look back on half a lifetime of mostly positive experiences and nice memories of the black women I dated. Who knew a fling with a coworker of mine at age 21 would lead to such a rich experience, and a lifetime of fun and pleasure. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
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